Reflections on Lynn Redgrave's Speech at the UCC 50th General Synod
July 15, 2007
by Rev. Briget Nicholson
Lynn Redgrave's touching, engaging story of her faith journey following breast cancer drew tears and brought us to our feet with a standing ovation Tuesday morning.
"It's not a point any more how long I live, but how I live," said the tall, elegant Redgrave, her one-inch silver hair framing her face. "Time is short -- live every moment so you don't feel you've wasted anything."
Redgrave, a well-known actor with credits that could fill a page, is part of the famous acting family: father Sir Michael Redgrave, mother Rachel Kempson, sister to Vanessa and Corin Redgrave.
But "we know her as Lynn," said her pastor Rev. Melinda Keck, in her introduction of Redgrave. "She's a doting mother of three, a grandmother. She is kind. She is compassionate. She's our friend."
Redgrave's journey with cancer began two weeks before Christmas 2002 when she felt a lump in her right breast. She turned over in bed and thought, "Hmm, this is a lumpy mattress. Then I discovered the lump was me."
On Friday the 13th, Dec. 2002, I learned the lump was malignant.
"This couldn't happen to me," she said. "I was so fit, so healthy. I was absolutely terrified." There was no history of breast cancer in my family. I'd never even had an iffy mammogram. And yet, on Jan. 16, 2003 I had a mastectomy and I chose not to have reconstructive surgery. It was soon after this that I made a wonderful discovery: First Congregational UCC in Kent, Conn. "I had never been a part of a congregation. In England we aren’t really a church going people, I mean Christmas and Easter but that’s about it. So this idea of church was new for me. But, I was so afraid, I was feeling so alone, that I was searching for something. I heard through my son [who lives in Kent] there was a wonderful woman minister there. And, I thought with this problem, breast cancer, a woman would be better to understand. I thought for myself, with a woman I would feel safe."
Keck remembers that first time when Lynn walked into church in early February 2003. "Someone said, 'Lynn Redgrave just asked what door to go in.' We have a small church. We just wanted to be there for her," Keck said in an interview before Redgrave's speech.
Redgrave describes her first day at church in her journal: "I find I cry at first, at Bach on the organ, at prayers. By the end I feel very peaceful and optimistic? A way to be part of a community. A way to feel I am not alone in my worries. A young woman rose to her feet and asked for prayers for the 26 men and women of her husband's unit who have just been deployed to the Middle East. It all puts my little battle here in perspective."
At first I didn’t feel I could tell my family about my cancer. My son, Ben and his wife were expecting a baby. And, my daughter in law is Armenian and they have a belief that when one life comes into the world another goes out. I just couldn’t tell her nine months pregnant I was going to be that life. My daughter, Kelly, a Buddhist nun, "is into alternative medicine, and I thought she'd say go to Mexico and eat a peach pit and then have a coffee enema. And, I didn’t want a coffee enema. English tea would have been one thing, but coffee was out of the question. No, I needed to know my choices and my path before I could involve her in the process. And my youngest daughter Annabell was taking exams and she would be done soon enough.
"I was terrified as an actor that people wouldn't hire me: too weak, to frail, you’ve heard of it happening before. So I kept a secret until my agent called and said the National Enquirer was going to "out" me. " You know, we all love that magazine. Come on we all want to know…Enquiring minds want to know, but enquiring minds don't want to be in the Enquirer.
Larry King, Jane Pauley and Barbara Walters all wanted interviews. "I chose Larry King ? I knew he wouldn't be soft with me. And, that was important, as lovely and wonderful as Barbara and Jane are I know they’d get soft, and with all the drugs you are on and the emotional situation you cry when someone opens a door, you cry when someone passes the salt, I just couldn’t risk falling apart on national television. So I choose Larry King because with Larry it would be, 'So, they cut it off and then??'"
Even though I had a mastectomy in January 2003, my hair fell out on my 60th birthday that March, my mother died in May 2003, and I had horrible months of chemotherapy and radiation treatment, I consider 2003 "one of the greatest years of my life. The people I have met -- getting to know Melinda; the members of our church in Kent, the people in the club no one wants to join, the cancer club. These have all been life changing moments. Life deepening moments. Life quickening moments. "
I admire the UCC "so tremendously. I go online when I am on tour to see what church I can go to and still get to my matinee performance. I was complaining one time of being out of town and not able to go to church and Melinda reminded me she does a matinee every week. So now I always go to the church that is available prior to my matinee. I really think if the UCC ran this country, we'd be OK. This community has given me such hope, and such renewed strength, I can’t wait to see what we’re going to do next. Thanks for helping to save my life. I treasure it now, I consider it a gift. I know it is short, but I will honor each day as a blessing. Thank you.
Ken Madema followed her speech as with each of the keynotes shared today by singing:
My Holy family…You are always with me
Even here
Even now
Always with me
Knowing this journey
Knowing this pain
Knowing this hurt
The family of love
The family of God
We First Congregational United Church of Christ are part of this holy family. This family which is reaching out to people, all sorts of people who are feeling lost, alone, frightened, broken rejected cast out or away for so many reasons. We are showing up, holding out the light and saying, we are here, God is here and you will not be alone. We will stand with you. You are part of us. And you are loved. What a beautiful story to know, that we are not alone, even here, even now, the family of love, the family of God…Let us pray.