Friend or Enemy
April 13, 2008
Matthew 22: 1-14
Friend or Enemy
This Biblical Hospitality stuff that we’ve been talking about for the past 11 weeks is serious business. This ancient practice of greeting strangers and transforming them into friends and family all culminates today. If we fail, we part as enemies. If we succeed we part as family friends welcome to come by any time and pick up where we left off. Our hospitality is known by the relationship that springs forth from our work.
Friend or Enemy
Really, I think the most crucial step in this whole process is the first one. Can we covenant to this work. When someone comes to us, a stranger, and lays down a need. Do we accept the challenge or not. If we don’t, it’s perfectly fine, we pick up our stuff, dust ourselves off and move on. No effort, no relationship, no loss, we just simply move on. However, if the invitation to meet the need is accepted then the responsibility to follow through with meeting that need is explicit as host. We accept the covenant to protect, nurture, and provide for this stranger who has now become guest until their need is met. If we fail in meeting the need, we will part as strangers. If we invite someone in but don’t meet the need, partially doing what was asked, we fail. When we fail and we part, we will be enemies. The only way to part as friends/nearly family is to meet the needs and follow through with our promises.
Friend or Enemy
It seems a bit much to our ears, this friend or enemy. Really? Greeting a person can lead to such a breach in relationship as to create enemies? Remember, these laws of hospitality we’ve been talking about were created in ancient times. They could be a matter of life or death when you are out on the road, are hungry and thirsty, haven’t seen another person in days, when you approached a house for shelter, the vulnerability was incredible. Not providing for someone could lead to their death. Not protecting someone could lead to their death. Once you opened up your home and family to the stranger, you were committed to following the journey through and meeting their needs. However, there was no consequence for not accepting the challenge. If someone came to your door and you could tell you couldn’t meet their need, you just said no, slammed the door and went back to your business as if nothing had happened. If you were turned away, which could happen for so many reasons…already the house had accepted the needs of another, there was sickness in the house, there weren’t enough provisions for the people who were already living under the roof. Or maybe in quizzing the stranger it was clear that the cultural differences weren’t going to be able to be bridged. Maybe the life of the person was diametrically opposed to the life of the people in the home. Whatever the reason, it was absolutely acceptable to turn someone away. The response was to shake the dust off and move on. The response of the host was to go back to the work you were called to do. However, if you accepted the person, if you agreed to meet their needs and didn’t, you scammed them, you cheated them, you failed them. And it is in this breech of connection that enemies are formed. And, as a people we don’t like to rest until that breech has been satisified. We will bad mouth, we will call names, we will file lawsuits, we won’t rest until we feel our wrongs have been righted. This is the consequence of making promises we can’t keep around hospitality. It is important work for the soul of our being. Authenticity reigns.
Friend or Enemy
The story we read today from the Bible is an allegory. The whole story is an extended metaphor with each character representing something else and each point holding two meanings both literal and metaphoric. The King represents God, the son represents Jesus and those invited represent the house of Israel, those who are dragged in are Gentile Christians. The speechless man without the wedding robe he is one who claims to have faith but that’s all the farther it goes. He is speechless because what is said about him is true. Many have been invited to this feast but all respond differently. What we do with our response to invitation it does matter to our God. Our living will be impacted every day by how we are responding to the needs and calls of others. The doing isn’t something to get hung up on, it just means being in touch with who God is calling us to be. We are called to be people open to love, open to loving when we practice this reality, we don’t go to a celebration at God’s house without preparing ourselves physically, spiritually, emotionally. It is a journey. To go just because we were invited with no further reflection even when we are interrupted in our daily journey is not acceptable and can damage our relationship with ourself, with our God, with those who are in covenant with us. Our actions have reactions. Our intentions matter. Our responses lead to making, building or breaking relationships.
Friend or Enemy
This allegory we have today is great for Biblical Hospitality. We can invite anyone we want, but they might not come. And, that’s their choice, plenty will choose it. God has relationship in God’s own way. We can let that go and move on. When we invite people in it doesn’t mean that’s done. As a guest we must engage the invitation. Being invited isn’t enough. This God of ours wants relationship. This means preparing ourselves, getting ourselves ready, opening ourselves and allowing God to work with us on a daily even moment to moment basis. When we work on our own stuff…the Spirit radiates from us attracting others to the God light within us. When we practice this gospel of love, this kindness of hospitality, this attention to who is a guest in our midst it changes and transforms people’s experience.
Once we open these doors, once we put out the word that we were opening our doors, we can not turn people away from this. This means we need to have someone at the door. We absolutely need to begin to take on our role as host. It is an extension of the covenant, if you come here, you will be put at ease, you will not be surprised, you will be safe. In order to do this, we must have people all over the place who are willing to help people get in the door, find a seat, understand the order of worship and what role they will play, mention where the bathrooms are and where to find the nursery if they have children who are non school agers. We must put ourselves out there to create this environment of welcome that reflects our understanding of who God is and how God works in this world. It is part of our commitment as a people of faith. And, we do this welcoming, this creating of sanctuary, this seeking of safe space from the place of God’s Presence within us. When we fill ourselves with that presence we can meet people at the door and invite them to come in. This invitation when followed through will allow us to draw friends into our midst. However, when people come to this place that advertises Open Always all Ways Open and find that they can’t find the nursery. They aren’t sure where they bathrooms are. They get lost in the order of worship or fear they will be called on, called out, embarrassed, we will create enemies. People who will run out of there as fast as they can never darkening the door again. We have broken our hospitality covenant. We open our doors and advertise public worship, we must then have ways to accommodate those who come to see what’s going on.
Friend or Enemy
We’ve been talking about Biblical hospitality for eleven weeks now. Today is the finale. We’ve reached the end of our hospitality training, today we find out where it all leads. And it ends up smack dab in the middle of relationship. When we are not hospitable we offend people, we hurt people, we let them down. When we don’t know who we are and we sell ourselves out, we disgust people, hurt people, create shame within people. When we don’t protect what is sacred to us we frighten people, we close people off, we drive people away. Hospitality is something that we’re judged on every day and it reflects who we know God to be. When we aren’t authentic to who God is, meaning we don’t reflect the lessons God has taught us, we have failed as hosts. When we radiate that welcome, that Presence that opportunity to get our needs met we are those whole people God has called into being. How is it we will leave this place today, have we met the need of those seeking the holy? Have we embodied the extravagant welcome of God? Will we part as friend or enemy? Only you know. Let us pray.